# 0099

by brandon


– [ 752 ] +

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Drugs do terrible things to a person's brain.

One night, four of us get so substance addled that we're silent and completely motionless. Every thirty minutes, someone opens their mouth, giggles a little, and then everyone is rolling on the floor laughing until they can't breathe. Another four minutes, and it's back to dead silence.

We decide to break this vicious cycle by ordering a pizza. It seems complex at first, but we put our brains together and get a system going: I'm going to order the pizza, Eric is going to pay for it, Tim is going to hold the money, and Donald is going to to get the door and thus the pizza. Wait, someone says, why is Tim holding the money if Donald's going to the door? Why is Eric paying $17 for two pizzas? (The cat apparently told me one wasn't enough.) But we work it out by the time the pizza guy gets to the door.

Donald goes to the door. We giggle - we're sure that he won't be able to hide the fact that he's out of his mind right now. He gets the pies, gets the change, and we're about to be disappointed when he stops the delivery guy just as he's about to leave--

"Hey, man, wait. Do you have ANY idea what COLOR you are?"

Drugs do terrible things to a person's brain.