So my parents leave me the house for a week. I'm 19 and responsible in their eyes, so they leave me home alone during their vacations. I have a wonderful, lovely time when they're gone as bong rips and beers with cold 2-day-old pizza is considered a complete and balanced breakfast, not the life of a delinquent. One incident is particularly funny...
It's my parents' third day out. I woke up that morning with a wake and bake, followed by several beers. By 4 PM I've polished off 8 beers in 4 hours, combined with numerous bong hits, needless to say I'm smashed. I'm stupid when I'm smashed. I barely know where I am. I walk to the kitchen window, take a massive hit off the bong, and see my parent's car driving down the street. Suddenly adrenaline fills my veins, as through the intoxication I realize one thing - My parents will NOT like this. So I impulsively react. I sprint to my room, throw the bong down, grab the nearest bottle of air freshener and start spraying the house. I've got a minute, 2 tops to get this house clean. I sprint through my living room, spraying blindly and gathering all the beer bottles I can find. I spray myself in the eyes, break beer bottles, spill vodka and sprint back to my room. The bong is broken, my rug is soaked in bong water. I spray it, I spray my room, I lock the door and run around the house spraying some more.
The lysol can dies,and I keep panicking. I don't know what to do. The house reeks of pot and lysol, I'm so messed up I can't ascertain my current location, and there are still beer bottles around. I don't know what to do. I run to the front window, to see how much time I have before they come in. There's no car in the driveway. I call them, maybe to stall them or see where they went.
They're still on vacation. It wasn't my parents' car. I just shattered a beautiful bong all over my floor and had the worst adrenaline rush of my life for nothing. It took me 3 hours to clean up. I never did get the smell entirely out of that rug.