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by Bobshopper


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Samson is the kind of guy that will tell you his life story within the first ten minutes of meeting you. And not much of it's all that enjoyable: like the fact that he "used" to be a hardcore drug addict or that he's a runaway government project with "Made in the USA" tattooed on the bottom of his foot. Well, to be fair, he really does have that tattooed on his foot, I've seen it.

No one can stand him, he won't stop talking to you, he thinks your his friend, and has all the social graces of Charlie Manson at a family picnic.

One night he's raising hell in the dorm, during finals week. My roommate and I had had enough, so we gathered up some trash-bags from the lounge and taped them across his door, bottom, to almost the very top. But we had it in our heads that this wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

In our room were boxes full of packing peanuts that we intended to use in some art project or another. However, we had decided on a better use for them and used the small space at the top to pour in at least twenty pounds of packing peanuts so that they rested against the closed door and between the bags.

Next morning, we're woken up by his awful singing, then "click" the door opening, "Aww! Fuck! I CAN'T SEE! ULP. *hacking cough*" Then in a hoarse quiet voice, "i swallowed one, mik... *cough* i think i'm gonna die..."
Mike his roommate can't help because he's been paralyzed with laughter. I don't think Samson made it to one of his finals that morning.