by Prunes


 [ 749 ] +

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So I'm driving along after rather lovely lunch date and up ahead I see a bunch of flashing blue lights and realise I am approaching none other than a RBT (random breath testing) site. These normally aren't a big deal as the cops are nice enough, and it only takes 30 seconds.

Unfortuently, I had knocked back a few brews with my chicken salad so I was very apprehensive as I drove up. I'm hoping I don't get chosen but as luck would have it I get flagged down so I pull over. The officer strolls up and he did say "Sorry to stop you, Sir. I am just going to preform a random breath test. Have you been drinking at all today?"
"Just a beer or two with lunch."
"If I could get you to blow as hard as you can into the tube without stopping until I tell you."
He holds up the breath tester and I start blowing and at this point I hear shouting behind me, someone is yelling "Stop! Stop!" and then I feel the jolly thud that you only get when someone has just rear-ended you. Now while I was a bit worried about the few drinks I had downed, I had nothing on the guy behind me who, in his drunken state, had managed to ram into the back of me in front of a dozen of the state's finest. This balding, old dude was already out of his car stumbling about, probably trying to work out what was going on.

Even though it's never fun to have someone run their car into the back of yours, if it has to happen it might as well occur when you've got ten cops as witnesses, standing by to breathalyse the guy. The best part was though that I didn't end up having to finish the test, they let me drive off after getting my details. I tested myself on the dodgy tester I got off ebay when I got home and it reckoned I was over the limit but they are notorious for giving out false positives so I'll never know if I actually dodged a DUI or not. Oh and as the guy was three times over the limit and I had such a fine lineup of witnesses I had absolutely no trouble getting his insurance company to pay up.