The night before my graduation, a friend and I stayed up until six, drinking and playing video games. I proceeded to sleep for three hours, suit up, and head down to campus where I recieved my Masters degree.
Two days later, I arose, suddenly sans responsibility. I climbed out of bed, started the coffee pot and went into the bathroom to pee out all of the toxins and waste that had accumulated from the night before.
As I was urinating, I attempted to fart. Instead I looked down at my feet and watched a small turd fall out of the leg of my boxer shorts.
I stood there, in slight disbelief, and said to myself, "I have a Masters degree and I just shat my pants."