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by This Guy.


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I met a girl once, made her lunch and, much later, dinner. After some conversation and some heavy petting we ended up moving to the bedroom.

She wasn't very good at, well, anything, but she was trying. She told me to come on her face, because she had read on the internet that semen was good for the skin.

I could have kissed the man who wrote that.

"Make me beautiful," she said. "Make me beautiful now."