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by Glynes


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My husband and I have a motto, after attendance at many concerts and ball games: "If they're in the place, they'll sit by us." Often, the antics going on in the seats around us is more entertaining than what's on the field, or the stage.

One of the most memorable events was a ZZ Top concert, with us sitting stage right in the bleacher seats in the rafters. Into the row directly behind us, came a boisterous group which included a gentleman who'd obviously started drinking early in the day, and had smuggled in a flask in his jacket, which he was apparently determined to drain dry before the warm-up act even took the stage. Suddenly, we hear a crash behind us, and turn to see that said gentleman had passed out and fallen off the bench. And not just "off", but "under" the bench, where he was firmly wedged. His party tried unsuccessfully to drag him out, to no avail. Arena security had no better luck, and finally the fire department was called in. Everyone in the section had to get up and stand on the steps, while the fire guys unbolted the bench from the floor and dragged the guy out. All the while his SO was explaining calmly, "Don't worry, this happens all the time. Just leave him. He'll be fine." The rescue squad didn't agree, and after bolting the bench back to the floor, picked the guy up in a fireman's carry, and hauled him out. The rest of his gang stayed to watch the concert, and we could only roll our eyes.

The other event tied for distinction of most memorable, happened at a baseball game. We'd scored free tickets for right-field seats, just two rows off the field, right on the aisle. Sometime during the 3rd inning, I heard a commotion behind us, and turned to see a rather portly gentleman racing down the steps from the concourse, dropping his clothes as he came. As he reached our row, all that was left was his boxer shorts, and to this day we still don't know why he decided to leave those on (but thank god he did!). He vaulted over the short wall and headed out across the field. The security guy in our section was just a kid and pretty small, but he didn't give a second thought to clearing the wall after the quasi-streaker, and chasing him down. He tackled the guy just short of 3rd base, and had him face-down on the turf when the police got there to haul him away. For the rest of the game, we got up-close and personal with most of the players, from both teams, who stopped by to congratulate our little security hero.

Oh yeah. If they're there, they'll be in our section. No doubt!