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by IWantToFly


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 [ 758 ] +

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I can honestly say that I am a fairly intelligent individual, and I would say the same about my friends. However, we seem have a few moments of stardom in our pasts. It was a bitterly cold Friday night in November and Wes and I were bored so we decided to go see a movie. I cant remember what movie it was but I can remember every detail of this story. The movie ends and we head out to my car. As we open the door we both are stunned to see that there is an inch and a half of snow on the ground and it is still falling.

My area normally gets a decent amount of snow in the winter, but this was definitely early. I have driven in snow plenty of times before, so that wasn't the issue. I get in the car and turn the wipers on to get the snow off so that I can see, turn on the heater and we are on our way. Hot air inside the car + falling snow + bitterly cold temperatures = ice on the windshield. Ice on the windshield + no windshield washer fluid = blindness. So I slowly make it to the nearest gas station and buy a bottle of fluid to fill the tanks. I top it off, splash some on the windshield, clear the glass, and we start to head home.

I pull off of the major highway because people are going too slow for my liking and head down some back-roads. The windshield starts icing again. Apparently the washer fluid sprayers are clogged. Not good. My car has a sunroof, so I being the genius that I am, tell Wes that I am going to open the sunroof so that he can pour some of the liquid on the windshield. There is a reason it's called a windshield. I shields you from the WIND. I open the sunroof as I'm moving at about 35mph into a headwind and Wes stands up and begins pouring the container. No less than 4 seconds later he drops down into the passenger seat, turns to me, and just goes "PPPPPPBBBBbbbbbbTTTTTTTTTTTT" and coats me in liquid. I have absolutely no idea what happened until I look at Wes, he is drenched. His eyes are squeezed shut while trying to wipe as much of the washer fluid off his face as possible. Once I realized what happened, I just started laughing at the poor kid, laughing to the point where I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I felt like I had just worked out my abs for 4 hours. As I'm cracking up I pull off to the side of the road as Wes literally jumps out of the car to attempt to wash his face off with the little bit of snow that was on the ground.

As he's rubbing his face with snow he just keeps yelling about how much of the liquid he swallowed, and he's asking me if he's going to die, it made me laugh even harder. He eventually gets back in the car, looks at me and says "What...the...FUCK...was I thinking!?!" By that point I had calmed down a little bit, but that comment sent me right back into a fit of laughter while he just sat there and pouted.