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by houndogg


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In my second year of college I lived with a few people who were generally pretty straight-laced, but every month we would have a party where the drinking would get pretty out of control.

So this one night in May I get more drunk than usual (drinking 2/5 of a liter of Cuervo will do that to you). The last thing I remember is sneaking down the street to see some horses near by (we went to a very rural college).

The next morning when I woke up, here's my train of thought:

1.) Ugh, my head is killing me.
2.) My legs hurt.
3.) And the cars seem so loud. My hangover must be bad.
4.) It's kinda cold. Did someone leave a window open?
5.) That's odd, it's still pitch black.
6.) Ow, what's this on my wrists, and why can't I move my arms?

Now it turns out everything had a logical explanation:

1.) I had way too much to drink
2.) I was sleeping on a concrete sidewalk
3.) ... outside
4.) ... wearing only my boxers
5.) ... and a blindfold
6.) ... handcuffed to a stop sign

... a mile and a half from my house

I assume my roommates took me out to this intersection, stripped me, blindfolded me, and handcuffed me to the stop sign, but they never admitted to it

One of my roommates had been into lock picking, and I had picked it up from him, so I was able to use a bent metal bit off a pen cap nearby to pop the cuffs open and I jogged the mile and a half home, with cars honking at me the whole way.